**2026 Iowa Football Offseason and Transfer Portal Thread**

[KitKatApples]

Then I'd say it'd be difficult to graduate from there

 

[L. Wade Childress]

Five percent pleasure
Fifty percent pain

can you even imagine Mikey’s frustration when that song dropped?

THIS DOESNT EVEN ADD UP!!!!!!

 

[Silky Johnson]

It does if you include the 10% luck, 20% skill, and 15% concentrated power of will.

Damnit what corny lyrics.

 

[L. Wade Childress]

Power of Will is a contra asset you fucking moran!!!

 

[Hawk&Balls]

Drake Lindsey??

https://www.espn.com/college-football/story/_/id/48648720/minnesota-qb-lindsey-arrested-underage-alcohol-fake-id

 

[BVHawk95]

You have to be a fucking moron to get tagged with a fake anymore.

 

[Orestes]

You have to be a fucking moron to get tagged with a fake anymore.

How so? It has been almost 30 years since I needed to know much about them.

I do know that there were about five kids in the class two years behind me using an Orestes ID to get into bars in IC during my senior year of college. Back then I just went to the DMV on a slow Tuesday, told them I lost my wallet and my ID was in there, and get a new one for $5 or $10. I was under the impression that such shenanigans were far more difficult now. Am I wrong?

 

[The Incredible Hawk]

Kids order them online now.

 

[Orestes]

Kids order them online now.

For reals? I mean, I guess that makes sense because what can't Amazon deliver in a day or two, but back in my day we had to work to find a fake. At a party my freshman year, I stumbled upon a license that had been left behind by Erin Patrick Lyons of Cascade, Iowa. A year later, we turned 21 and had a nice little run.

These kids today are missing out on stories, man.

 

[6deuce]

For reals? I mean, I guess that makes sense because what can't Amazon deliver in a day or two, but back in my day we had to work to find a fake. At a party my freshman year, I stumbled upon a license that had been left behind by Erin Patrick Lyons of Cascade, Iowa. A year later, we turned 21 and had a nice little run.

These kids today are missing out on stories, man.

My brother is 4 years older than me and we look enough a like that he gave me his ID when I turned 18 and it worked like a charm even though it was expired. A bouncer did say he was going to confiscate it and I threatened to choke the life out of him if he did. He surprisingly handed it back to me and went about his night.

It also got taken from a friend of mine at Shagnasty's in CF but I went there the next day and they gave it back.

Ah memories.

 

[26.2]

My brother is 4 years older than me and we look enough a like that he gave me his ID when I turned 18 and it worked like a charm even though it was expired. A bouncer did say he was going to confiscate it and I threatened to choke the life out of him if he did. He surprisingly handed it back to me and went about his night.

It also got taken from a friend of mine at Shagnasty's in CF but I went there the next day and they gave it back.

Ah memories.

Is shags still open?????

 

[MikeyJoe]

Is shags still open?????

There's no way anyone could possibly know that.

 

[6deuce]

Is shags still open?????

It’s a computer store now.

 

[26.2]

There's no way anyone could possibly know that.

I do know one thing though-you definitely never got your pud pulled on the dance floor as much as I did there!

 

[The Incredible Hawk]

Teen night at Shags was awesome.

 

[Gushawk]

Had some fun 90s nights at Shags and Buck’s Roadhouse in CR.

 

[ivan_drago]

Kids order them online now.

lol you could order them online 20 years ago

 

[KitKatApples]

I do know one thing though-you definitely never got your pud pulled on the dance floor as much as I did there!

We talkin over the pants handjobs up in here?

 

[Wanderer]

We talkin over the pants handjobs up in here?

I assume he's confusing it with Blazing Saddles.

 

[26.2]

We talkin over the pants handjobs up in here?

A lil of this, a lil of that!

 

[KitKatApples]

I assume he's confusing it with Blazing Saddles.

Any port in a storm

 

[Lee Beevers]

We talkin over the pants handjobs up in here?

Your mom always called that the “Nice to meet you”

 

[BngHawk]

Your mom always called that the “Nice to meet you”

*meat

 

[Hawk&Balls]

If she's meating you....

 

[KitKatApples]

The ol meat n greet

 

[Hawk&Balls]

Meat me in st louie

 

[Hawk&Balls]

Ew. Washington game is a Friday night, 8pm Iowa time kickoff

 

[Hawk&Balls]

Short week, and flying two times zones west. Fuck.

 

[Wanderer]

Short week, and flying two times zones west. Fuck.

Sounds like a Kirk special (the bad kind).

 

[douglasbader]

Immediately after playing Michigan and Ohio State in back to back weeks!

 

[Mysterio]

other than the black friday iowa has only been on the road on friday night games in my recent memory. is that by design?

 

[HerkyHopeful]

UCLA, Rutgers, now Washington. Long trips on a short week

 

[Hawk&Balls]

other than the black friday iowa has only been on the road on friday night games in my recent memory. is that by design?

Yeah, there's this big thing next to kinnick called a hospital

 

[douglasbader]

I've massively lowered my EXPECTATIONS!!!! for the season. In the Kirk Ferentz era, Iowa has rarely had a truly good team and truly good season without a damn good college QB under center.

All the years Iowa is truly good teams, they have had a good QB that saved their ass and won multiple games. The only exception you could argue is 2003 with Chandler. 2002 (Banks), 2003 (Chandler), 2004 (Tate), 2008 (Stanzi), 2009 (Stanzi), 2015 (Beathard), 2019 (Stanley), 2025 (Gronowski).

The years where they should have been way better, a shit QB (or terrible OC) held them back or they were a phony team because of it. I don't see many playoff teams that don't have a high level QB.

I get why they didn't want to get another portal QB, but neither Brown or Hecklinski seem like they are going to be anything other than extremely mediocre at best. They are very unlikely to win you any games. We (fairly) shit all over Gronowski for being bad at passing in many games last year, but that fucker was tough and a winner and he won Iowa multiple games that others would have lost. If he is healthy, he wins that Indiana game. Won that Penn State game with a late run. Should have won us the Oregon game if not for a perfect pass by them. Nearly won the USC game. In fairness, he did lose that Iowa State game along with Wetjen.

TLDR - unless the defense is incredible and all the pieces around raise up whoever the QB is, with the schedule Iowa is looking at a 7-8 win season.

 

[Hawk&Balls]

This is like step 6 of the offseason

 

[Stu Beagle]

I’m surprised seeing us in a lot of post Spring top 25s with an unproven QB, some key losses and a pretty tough schedule

 

[Hawk&Balls]

National people that make those know almost nothing about all of those

 

[Mr. Hawk]

Kurt is lining things up for '27 boyz

 

[Mysterio]

Yeah, there's this big thing next to kinnick called a hospital

i thought ppl just were waving at the water tower. the first shift should be finished up by 5 and one friday every other year isnt outrageous to make accomodations for. i was curious is kirk preferred no home friday games

 

[Hawk&Balls]

Oh yeah those tailgaters will love parking at 530 for a 7pm game.

 

[Mysterio]

Oh yeah those tailgaters will love parking at 530 for a 7pm game.

8pm

 

[Hawk&Balls]

Cool, open the parking lots at 6 for an 8pm football game, that'll work well.

 

[Lee Beevers]

other than the black friday iowa has only been on the road on friday night games in my recent memory. is that by design?

Tavern Hawk post, bro.

 

[Thomas Wolsey]

Tavern Hawk post, bro.

Disgusting.

 

[Mysterio]

Tavern Hawk post, bro.

thx little bro peep

 

[Verbal]

i was curious is kirk preferred no home friday games

He prefers it because college football is meant to be played on Saturdays, as God intended.

 

[Mysterio]

He prefers it because college football is meant to be played on Saturdays, as God intended.

i agree

 

[Shawneemicks]

Friday college football is gay

 

[The Dad]

Thinking college football on any day of the week is gay is gay.

 

[Thrawn II]

It’s okay to be gay